Texting…it seems so simple. So straightforward. So easy.
Yet it’s always one of the things women struggle with the most when it comes to attracting men.
I’m often asked, “If I like a guy, why can’t I just text him whenever and as often as I feel like it?”
And it’s that mindset that leads to the follow up question a few days later, “Why won’t he talk to me anymore?”
If learning how to text guys and keep them interested without being annoying is a struggle for you, perhaps an analogy will help. Let’s talk about something women love even more than they love men…ICE CREAM!
The reason you can’t just text a guy you like whenever and as often as you want is the same reason you can’t just eat ice cream whenever and as often as you like when you’re trying to lose weight.
You love ice cream. You want it all the time. You’re kind of addicted to it, and you’re not as happy when you’re not slurping that frosty deliciousness off your spoon. You can’t imagine being without it for good.
But you also know, eating all the ice cream you want whenever you want it will interfere with your goals if you want to lose weight and sculpt an amazing body. And that’s exactly how texting guys works too.
If the goal of texting is to get a guy to like you, then sometimes you have to step back and refrain from chasing him. If you’re constantly texting him or replying to his messages the instant you receive them, then it makes you appear less attractive. It’s even worse if you text him things like, “Why aren’t you texting me back?” when he doesn’t respond in 5 minutes.
Men are designed to chase and pursue. They want that challenge. They NEED that challenge to feel attracted to a woman. So let him do the chasing. If you’re constantly checking your phone every 3 seconds to see if he texted you, then you no longer present a challenge he has to work for. You become easy. He becomes bored. And if you continue to text him, then eventually you become annoying too.
So if you want him to think about you all the time, flip the script. Let him be the one who is anxious about hearing from you, not the other way around.
Here are a few tips on how to text guys that will not only keep him interested, but will also keep you from becoming annoying.
1. Don’t Respond To Every Text Right Away And Ignore A Message Every Now And Then
Resist the urge to immediately respond to every text he sends. Let him wonder what you’re doing. Wait 30 minutes. Wait an hour. Sometimes don’t respond until the next day or not at all. Give him the gift of missing you.
2. Never Send More Than 2 Texts In A Row Without Getting A Response
Don’t light up his phone with message after message, especially if he’s not responding. There are millions of reasons why he might not respond right away. Don’t let anxiety get the best of you and just assume he’s ignoring you on purpose. Nothing is more annoying than getting tied up at work or being out with friends only to check your phone and see messages like:
- “Where are you?”
- “Are you mad at me?”
- “Why aren’t you texting me back?”
- “Did I do something wrong?”
To keep from being annoying, never send more than two texts in a row without getting a response from him. And never send anything like the examples above. The insecurity and neediness will drive him crazy…and not in a good way!
3. Don’t Over-Analyze His Texts
If you want to text guys without being annoying, don’t over-analyze his messages. If you ask him a question and he responds with just one word, it doesn’t mean he’s upset with you.
“Oh No! He didn’t include a smiley or kissy face with that last text.” Don’t worry! It doesn’t mean he’s uninterested. Try not to get caught up in finding hidden meanings in all of his texts, or you’ll drive both you and him nuts!
4. Be The First To End Texting Conversations
A great way to keep a guy interested while texting is to be the first one to end the conversation. Better yet, end the conversation when it’s going really, really good.
Wait! What? End the conversation when it’s going GOOD?
Yep! If you want to keep him interested, end your text conversations at a high point. For example, if you just told him something funny about your day and he responds “LMAO. That’s so awesome!”, then that’s a perfect time to text back, “Ok, gotta run! Talk soon!”
Why does this work so well? Because every interaction he has with you will be a positive one, and he’ll start to associate those feelings of fun, joy, and excitement with YOU! He’ll continue to think about you and will continue to want more and more time and more and more interaction with you.
Tease him with just a little bit of ice cream that tastes really, really good, and it won’t be long before he’ll want the ENTIRE BOWL! 🙂