After a breakup, the first few text messages you send can set you up for failure or success. They are a critical part of learning how to get your ex to want you back over text.
It’s easy to freak out. It’s easy to come across as needy and desperate. It’s hard to hold back from sending your ex a million texts in a desperate attempt to win them back. And that’s a great way to mess things up for good.
I made this mistake when I first learned how to get my ex back over text. I was devastated. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t eat. I paced around like a caged animal talking to myself and thinking over every possible scenario in my head.
I sent like a kajillion text messages, just hoping to get a response. I was definitely freaking out, and it didn’t turn out well for me – at all!
So if you want to make your ex want you back over text, the first step is to do less, not more. Chill the hell out. Relax.
Take a breather and give your ex space by breaking off all contact for a little while. 30 days is a good start. 60 is better if you went through a bad breakup and your ex is really mad at you right now. It feels like hell, but it’s worth it.
If you want to get your ex back over text, there are a few things you should know about the first few text messages you send. Remember, these set the tone for the whole process, so you want to make sure you do this step right.
If you’re worried about screwing things up and need help, I strongly recommend taking a look at this texting guide. It’s the one that worked best for me, and it has some excellent texting templates you can use to craft meaningful and impactful text messages to get your ex back. I consider it one of the best ways to get your ex back over text, and it’s laid out nicely step-by-step.
Sending Your First Text To Your Ex
Now before you send your first text, I want you to understand there is no single “magic text message” that will have your ex crawling back to you by morning. No magical phrase or sentence exists that will fix everything immediately. Don’t punish yourself by trying to craft the “perfect” text, and have realistic expectations about what it will take to win your ex back over text.
If you feel you did something wrong in the relationship, then you may think your first text to your ex should be full of apologies. Or perhaps you think you should profess your undying love and unwavering commitment.
Maybe you’ve read some bad relationship advice and feel you should dive right in to talking about your relationship and how it will be different and so much better the second time around.
All of these are dead wrong if you want to get your ex to want you back over text. If your first few text messages do any of those things, they will instantly kill the attraction and your ex will be perfectly happy to never hear from you again.
Should I Bring Up The Past?
To get an ex back over text, avoid talking about your past relationship. That’s not the relationship you want. There’s a reason you broke up. That relationship didn’t work.
So instead of focusing on how to fix the broken relationship that didn’t work, focus on creating positive experiences and building a new, better relationship from the ground up.
Yes, you may need to talk about issues from the past, but that’s for later when you are back to spending time face to face. Texting is not the place for those conversations if you want to get your ex to want you back.
If you’re trying to make your ex want you back over text, then all of your messages need to create positive experiences, not negative ones. They need to be fun. They need to be upbeat. They need to stay positive – ALWAYS.
If your ex replies and tries to turn things negative or wants to talk about all the bad things about your relationship, don’t take the bait. The last thing you want to do is get into a fight over text. It’s better to not respond and to say nothing at all, than to turn texting into a heated war of words.
Should I Worry If My Ex Doesn’t Reply?
When you first text your ex, especially after a bad breakup, there’s a good chance you won’t receive a reply. That’s perfectly normal. And that’s one of the great things about texting – even if your ex doesn’t respond, it’s very likely they at least read your message. This means you can still positively influence your relationship even without a response.
Your first few texts need to be crafted in a way that doesn’t put pressure on your ex to respond. The less cornered they feel, the more likely they will be to respond in a positive way.
And if you want to win your ex back over text, you absolutely MUST avoid texting repeatedly with things like…
- “Why aren’t you talking to me?”
- “Are you mad at me?”
- “I’ve sent you three messages. Why are you ignoring me?”
- “Talk to me PLEASE! I’m going crazy!”
- “Where are you?!?!?!?!?!?!?”
All of these texts scream of neediness and desperation and will only confirm to your ex they did the right thing by leaving you.
For more help with getting your ex to want you back over text, go here.